Pets and Pools
by pancake-ss
Summary: What happens when Chick Hicks, Lightning McQueen, Francesco, Sally, Maria Carrera, and Emily Turbo head to a shelter to adopt a dog? Little do the famous racers and their girlfriends know how much trouble they are about to get into... The hilarious continuation of Mere and my one-shots! If you want to laugh, this is your story!


Pets and Pools  
By: KnitzyArtista95 and Pancake-ss  
Lightning, Sally, Francesco, Chick: Pixar (c)  
Maria: Mere (c), Emilia: Me (c)  
Most of the credit for the ideas goes to Mere, her and her brilliant mind. (Yes, Mere and I have returned with a brand new idea for a one-shot. Enjoy.)  
(Mere: But I couldn't have done this without dear Pancake's brilliant mind as well. :D)

 **Pets and Pools**

It was Maria Carrera's birthday. Her boyfriend, Chick Hicks, had asked her time and time again what she wanted to do today. She had refused options like a party, a dinner date, even a chance to hop into Chick's racecar and do a few laps around the track. What she truly wanted today was to adopt a dog: something that she and her twin sister, Sally Carrera, were never able to have as kids in their small, rented apartment in Los Angeles. Sure, it was a silly idea, but how could Chick turn her one wish down? So Chick, Sally, and a few of her friends came with her to do so.

Little did she know of all the trouble she was about to get into.

* * *

"Um, Maria? Are you absolutely sure this is the one you want?" Chick asked his girlfriend as they sat together in the local shelter's "human-dog meeting room". Chick sat in silence observing Maria as she fussed over a dog.  
She stopped scratching the back of the canine's ears for a second.  
"I'm about ninety-five percent there with this one!" She continued to coo him.  
The giant dog's tail wagged furiously as drops of drool continuously fell from his slippery tongue onto the floor. Chick watched with minimal disgust.  
"Do you think a... a Bearded Collie would be a proper fit for our living conditions? Don't you think our house is a bit small?"  
"Bearded Collies don't need farms. Besides, I think he'd prefer our house any day over THIS place."  
Maria looked over to Lightning McQueen, his girlfriend Sally Carrera, and their friends Francesco Bernoulli and his girlfriend Emilia Turbo, who were watching Chick and Maria from outside the window. Lightning had his face pressed to the glass as he waved. Maria waved back.  
"Chick, you're not much of a dog person, are you?"  
"Well, I mean, I never grew up with dogs. Yeah, they sort of make me uncomfortable. Like Doc Hudson." Chick scoffed.  
Maria gasped. "Did you just compare Doc Hudson to a dog?"  
"No! I'm just saying he would sort of creep me-"  
His sentence was interrupted as one of the shelter volunteers knocked and walked in.  
"How's it going in here?" The short-haired red head asked with a smile.  
"Great!" Maria responded.  
"So, ya think you're going to save this puppy's life?" The lady asked.  
"PUPPY?! That's a... furry bulldozer!" Chick inquired about the Collie. However, it was still considered a puppy. In fact, a very large and hairy one for his age. His eyes were completely covered, which was something Maria adored.  
"Spritzer there is the biggest of his siblings, that's true, but that doesn't make him any less lovable. All of his siblings have gone on to better homes." She explained.  
'Spritzer,' Maria thought, 'that's going to have to change'.  
Maria nodded her head at Chick and he knew that that was the cue. They'd found their dog.  
After another hour of documentation, explanations, and signatures, the shaggy dog was finally Maria's. She couldn't have been more excited.  
Just then as they were getting ready to head out the door and head home, Francesco, the famous Italian Formula One racer, shouted "Wait, wait!" down the hallway. Maria, Chick, Lightning, Sally, and Emily looked back simultaneously. As Francesco ran up to them, he held a small box that apparently was for the use of carrying small critters.  
"What's that?" Chick asked.  
"He insisted..." said Emily.  
"He didn't shut up about it." Lightning said, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair.  
"I was-a walking to the rest-a-room and passed by the case full of-a birds, and I just absolutely had to get-a one," the Italian F1 driver told them.  
"So what did you get?" Chick asked.  
"A parakeet. They're such-a simple birds, but-a so lovable. And-a this one can't fly!"  
"Alright, whatever makes you happy I guess."  
With one parakeet and a bearded collie in tow, the group headed over to Lightning and Sally's place.

* * *

"Let's call the dog Lamby, 'cause he looks like a lamb." Lightning suggested as he opened the door.  
Chick scoffed. "That's gay. Let's call him Ceelo Green."  
"Ew. Ceelo Green is worse. That guy's a potato. You sure like the color green." Lightning responded.  
"It's the color of money."  
"It's the color of Oscar the Grouch."  
"It's the color of satan's boogers."  
"That's disgusting and inappropriate, Chick!" Emily told him. She shook her head.  
While they argued, Maria struggled furiously in pulling the big dog (more like a big feather duster) into the house. He took leaps in the air, yanking on the leash as he resisted everywhere that Maria was trying to pull him. Her hands were red with rope burn and it felt like her arms were going to be torn out of their sockets. Finally, she managed to pull him in and shut the door. She let go of the leash, he ran through the house, and she collapsed with a sigh.  
Sally walked towards the kitchen. "Who wants lunch?!"  
The dog, with his long leash dragging behind him, jumped high onto Sally. In an instinctual move, she hit his nose without thinking, and he jumped back down.  
Sally clapped both of her hands onto her mouth. "Oh my God I'm so sorry Maria I just karate-chopped your dog!"  
The dog raised his butt in the air and moved side to side, then pranced into the living room and ran in circles around the coffee table.  
Francesco and Emily were sitting on the couch and the dog jumped up between them. He stepped on both of their thighs and they winced in pain as his long claws managed to dig through their expensive Italian jeans. (XD)  
"I LOVE my dog!" Maria exclaimed with excitement.  
"'Love' isn't the term I'd use..." Chick sighed.  
The Bearded Collie leaped off the top of the couch and ran into the hallway. A few seconds later, the sound of Lightning's cursing was heard.  
Lightning appeared in the kitchen where Sally and now Emily (she didn't want to sit on that couch and have the dog step on her again) were now working.  
"That dog is so damn dirty! Sally, he got our pristine white 1,600 thread count bed sheets ALL full of his dog-dirt!"  
"So give him a bath." Sally said.  
"He's not my dog!" Lightning argued.  
Sally shook her head. "Well, there's a pool out back."  
"You mean that big dirty plastic pool that the people who lived here before left over?!"  
"Yes. Do Maria a favor. It's her birthday. Go fill it."  
Lightning loudly sighed and sulked out the back door.

* * *

"No, no, I will NOT use that sunscreen!" Chick wailed as Maria tried to share her sunscreen with him. They were lounging outside in Lightning's backyard as Lightning filled the pool with water for the dog's bath.  
"It prevents cancer, Chick!" Maria exclaimed.  
"I'm naturally dark-skinned! I don't get burnt! I have MELANIN."  
Maria angrily placed the sunscreen down on the table next to them and leaned back in her chair.

Just then, the dog burst out the back door and into the yard with a slab of meat in his mouth. Sally was yelling words that are not Teen-rated for this fanfiction. The unnamed dog sprinted to the end of the yard, tail wagging, and plopped down in the shade as he began to devour his T-bone steak.  
"MY GOD that was supposed to be for lunch!" Sally cried. She ran up to the dog, but he grabbed the meat and bolted to the other side of the yard. By the time Sally reached him, he had swallowed the last bit of the 4 pound slab 'o meat.  
The entire time, Maria was laughing at her sister and Chick couldn't care less. Lightning was too afraid of the big dog to chase him.  
Francesco and Emily stepped out of the back door hand-in-hand after hearing the ruckus.  
"What's-a going on?" Francesco asked.  
"Shut that door and don't let him back in the house!" Sally yelled. "This animal needs a bath."  
The Collie was attempting to jump over the fence across the yard, but he was too fat.  
Sally knew that in order to get this done, they were going to have to corner him and drag him into the tub.  
"Guys!" She shouted to everyone. "Get him!"  
Lightning nodded to his girlfriend, and in Hunger Games fashion, they both began to sprint towards the dog. Emily and Francesco looked at each other, nodded, and followed suit. Maria peeked up from her magazine and when she saw the four of them heading towards her dog, she dropped what she was doing and ran to save her puppy in a panic. Chick decided to remain seated in his most-comfortable lounge chair.

The dog looked up and saw them approaching it. Thinking that they wanted to play, he bent down and lifted his butt in the air, tail wagging.  
Lightning slowly outstretched his hand, reaching towards the dog's collar. He was inches away, and Francesco, Emily, and Sally all held their breath.

"Don't hurt my baby!" Maria wailed.

The dog bolted away from them at the sudden noise. Lightning made a grab for him, but lost his balance, and fell to the ground with a thud and a shout. Sally and Emily had already taken off after the dog.  
Chick laughed at Lightning, and quickly snapped a picture on his phone.  
The dog ran full speed across the yard. Francesco was gaining on him, shouting in Italian, Sally and Emily ran behind him, trying to help corner the dog, and Lightning was still peeling himself up off the ground, while Chick got full photographic documentation.

Francesco screeched to a halt as the dog stopped suddenly. Emily slammed into Francesco's back, and they both fell. Chick of course, took a picture.  
As the dog took off again, Sally ran after him, and attempted to jump over Francesco and Emily, but accidentally stepped on them.  
"Ow." Emi said weakly.  
"Ohhhhhh, my poor dog!" Maria hysterically cried, still chasing after Sally. She also made her sister's mistake in not jumping high enough over the two fallen Italians.  
"Owwwwww." Emily whined, then planted her face in the dirt.

*Click* went the camera shutter on Chick's phone.

Sally had cornered the dog. She was so close. The dog was only a few feet away, and in a corner between two sides of the house. Emily and Francesco now stood behind her, having ran over after managing to get up off the grass.  
"Come here, boy..." Sally said softly and sweetly. "Come here you nasty, hairy little- no, no, no, I didn't mean it. Come here..." She reached for his collar, but as soon as she got close, he took off running in the opposite direction. They ran after him for a minute, then stopped.

"This is freaking impossible. We're never going to catch that dog." Emily managed to say as she gasped for breath, her hands on her knees.  
Francesco's face was red and his hair was disheveled and full of grass. His eyes wide, he just nodded.  
Maria was sort of yelling at Sally for traumatizing her new baby, and Lightning was lying down in the middle of the yard.  
Chick had helped by Snapchatting the entire chase. His Snapchat Story was now pure gold. He smiled.  
With no one noticing, the dog pranced up to the running hose that was currently filling the plastic pool and began to munch away at it, thinking it was a chew toy. After all, he was a puppy and therefore still teething. His bite made a hole on the hose, and water (from being under pressure) gushed out and the hose went spiraling all over the yard. The Collie, scared yet excited, ran around, leaping in the air for the hose and water.  
Lightning, Sally, Francesco, Maria, and Emily noticed this and ran towards the dog yet again.  
Francesco, being the fastest, didn't head for the dog, but for the spigot, and turned it off. The hose stopped spiraling mid-air and dropped to the ground.

Maria watched the dog run around the yard. "Come here, boy." She called softly. The dog immediately ran towards her and sat at her feet, wagging his tail.  
Francesco fell to his knees. "Why didn't you do that in the first place?!" He wailed.

Lightning was standing beside the pool, considering getting in. After all, he was pretty sweaty, hot, and dusty from having to chase that dang dog around the yard.  
Sally approached him and stood beside him. "Hi," she said, smiling at him. "That was some damn crazy stuff, huh?" She was tired as well from playing dog-catcher, so she leaned her head on his shoulder.  
He grinned and wrapped his arm around her. "Hey, Sally?"  
"Yeah, babe?"  
"I want to push you into the pool."  
"Not happening."  
"Okay," he replied. Then he grinned, grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her backwards. She flailed her arms, but couldn't keep her balance. In she fell, with a splash. She glared up at Lightning. "Not funny," she said, wiping water out of her eyes. The hose water was ice cold, but felt refreshing on this hot day.

"CANNONBALL!"

Sally hardly had time to move out of the way as Chick barreled across the yard and jumped in.

"Was running across the entire yard really necessary?" Maria asked him from the nearby picnic table.  
He nodded. "Had to get some speed, inertia, and velocity going for me to achieve that level of splash," he explained.  
Maria placed her hands on her hips. "Guys, that pool was supposed to be used for Fabio!"  
Chick glared at her, his wet green shirt sticking to his chest. "So his name is _Fabio_?"  
"IDK man." Maria responded as she successfully managed to put a leash on Bingo. She then wrapped the other end of the leash securely around a pipe on the side of the house. This doge needed to learn how to chill.  
Maria then walked over to the commotion in the pool: Lightning, Sally, and Chick were sitting inside, their entire bodies drenched even though the pool was relatively small, and Emily was sitting in a chair and sticking her feet in on the side. _What a ridiculous sight_ , Maria thought.  
"Well don't just stand there and judge us, hon, get in!" Chick exclaimed as he stood up and grabbed her, pulling her in as well. His feet had lost friction at the bottom of the pool, and both him and his girlfriend went tumbling down onto Lightning and Sally.

As everyone groaned, Francesco stepped out of the house precariously holding 6 beers and a parakeet. "Guys! I have-a the birra! And my uccello." (translation: beer, bird)  
He placed the drinks on the table nearby, then walked back towards the back door, spotting a ledge in the sun where his parakeet could rest. It was only a baby, and since its wings were clipped, it could not fly. He figured it would be safe to leave it on the ledge, assuming it wouldn't try to go anywhere. He kissed it's soft little green head and put it down.  
Francesco walked back over to the pool, where everyone had already helped themselves to a drink. He shook his head, and lifted Emily from her seat, sat down himself, and just placed her on his lap. Life was good.  
Although the four friends had had a frustrating and tiring day, they all appreciated this moment of winding-down and great talk. It was truly a rarity to have this excursion away from their jam-packed life of fame.

The sun had passed its high point in the sky and started its descent into the horizon around 4:30. The group had had two bottles, maybe three or four, ...(five?) and the buzz in the air was great.  
However, Sally wasn't feeling too good... She was having bad cramps and as she looked down, before she knew it, there in the water, she saw some blood floating around. Her period. Old Aunt-Flow had come to visit yet again. Disgusted, she could only whisper "Oh my God" aloud.

Francesco heard Sally and saw what was floating in the water. He shrieked and leaped out of his seat. Chick and Lightning then noticed too.  
"RETREAT!" Chick hollered as he got up. "ABANDON SHIP!"  
Lightning didn't scream, but leaped about 4 feet in the air _from his sitting position_. Much like a silent antelope that had been taken by surprise.  
Maria felt absolutely devastated for Sally, and began to cry. Sally cried too from embarrassment, and in seeing the both of them crying, Emily got emotional too and shed tears.

After having wringed out his shorts and finishing his last bottle of beer, Chick said, "What is it with you emotional women?! Go get some chocolate, SHEESH. Get some for Frannie too. And some testosterone supplements. He bought a bird today. Lightning, let's get out of here. Come on, to the man cave."  
"We don't have a man cave."  
"Well we should!" Chick staggered under the influence.  
"Chick, you don't even like me that much!"  
"Yeah, you're right." Chick made no attempt to deny it or shoot back another witty comment. He just accepted it on the spot because he couldn't stand the crying. And it was true, he DIDN'T like Lightning that much.  
"Um-a, Chick? Your-a skin is-a very red. You got burnt badly. Should have-a listened to your wife." Francesco inquired.  
"Shut up she's not my wife, man! And shut up just go pet your bird or something you ass!" Chick threw an empty beer bottle on the ground.  
Francesco frowned but decided it was time to go check on his preziosa parakeet.  
As he approached the ledge, he realized right away that the bird was not there.  
Francesco, in a panicking silence, searched the ground, the nearby tree, and anywhere else he could think of. He heard a bark behind him and turned around.  
"Fabio!" He cried in shock and dismay. Then he fell to his knees and let out a cry of anguish.  
For in Fabio's mouth were green feathers. And there... On the ground beneath him... Was the maimed body of Francesco's parakeet.

* * *

"We are gathered here in remembrance of..." Lightning glanced at the paper he held in his hands. "Spaghetti-O, the parakeet. His death was untimely. Murdered viciously, tiny Spaghetti-O never had a chance against Fabio the dog."  
Francesco, shaking and crying silently, murmured, "He was so fragile.."  
Lightning continued the eulogy as they stood around the gravesite. The maimed Spaghetti-O was now wrapped in a dish towel and laid gently in a shoe box.  
"He was a... Really good bird. He didn't deserve this, as all murder victims don't. He will..." Lightning struggled to think of how to say this eloquently. "Live on for a really long time in our circulatory systems."  
Sally raised an eyebrow. "Hearts?"  
"Yeah, hearts!" Lightning nodded. He cleared his throat, "Anyone want to say a couple words?"  
Francesco knelt beside the shoebox and placed a dandelion beside the bird. "My dear Spaghetti-O... You deserved better. You were-a taken from us too soon." He cried out into the air, "He never even got-a the chance to live!"

As Francesco continued his lament, Emily kept her hand on his shoulder, Maria cried with guilt, Sally cried cause hormones, Lightning watched on uncomfortably, and Chick glared at them all in contempt. He was mostly just angry about getting sunburned.

Surprisingly, after the funeral, it began to rain outside. It was dark anyway. Everyone crowded into Lightning and Sally's house with grim expressions, for they each had their share of tragic events today: Chick and his sunburn, Francesco and his parakeet... All were tired and about ready to hit the road and go home.

"Look man, today was fun. But I wouldn't do it again." Lightning said as everyone was grabbing their stuff to leave.  
"Maria, I hope-a your birthday went alright after all of-a these shenanigans..." Francesco told her.  
"Yeah, thank you Franco, it was great. However, I do now realize how bad of a dog Fabio is... Perhaps some PetSmart dog training would be for the best, heh."  
"Si." Francesco said with a yawn.  
Maria turned to her sister.  
"Sorry for wrecking your house... and pool, and hose... and entire backyard, Sally." She told her.  
"Yeah... whatever sis, just help clean it up later."  
Chick grimaced as Maria helped him put on his leather jacket over his sensitive, burning skin. The dog barked at him.  
"The only think that'll be GOOD for that dog is to sell him on an internet auction website." Chick stated at the bottom of his breath. Every one of them looked at Chick with looks of worry before saying their goodbyes and heading out the door into the mist.

The End.

Or is it? (To be continued...)

* * *

And yeah! That was the first part of what Mere and I had brewing in our crazed minds. Fun fact: this short story took nearly three months to write (March 3rd - May 31st) due to our busy lives and at some points just absolutely forgetting about it. But keep your eyes out, for we will be returning very shortly...

Indeed we shall! Pancake and I have many plans, all of which shall involve these characters that we've warped so much from the movie into how we envision them. XD US and our twisted minds... :P  
Please review if you've enjoyed!


End file.
